Friends- Part 2 Actions Speak Louder Than Words

There's a phrase we've all heard... "Actions Speak Louder Than Words." I'm not sure how often we pay attention to this but when you think about it, this phrase has been repeated in different forms and genres through time. I've been talking to a really good friend about this recently. It comes into play in a lot of different areas of my life but right now, through everything that is happening, it counts- a lot.


The musical group, Berlin, wrote a song in the 80s called "No More Words" about a similar idea.


Randy Pausch, professor and lecturer from Carnegie Melon, talked briefly about this concept in his "Last Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams." If you haven't read his book or seen the video of the lecture on You Tube, it is well worth the time. He has since passed away from pancreatic cancer but the words he has chosen to leave behind for his children are powerful. At one point, Pausch talks about advice he wants to leave for his daughter when she is older.
It took me a long time but I finally figured it out: when it comes to men that are romantically interested in you, it's really simple: just ignore everything they say, and only pay attention to what they do. It's that simple. It's that easy.
Again, same idea in a different scenario.

So, what I'm learning about while reflecting and sharing ideas back and forth with my friend is this: I've learned a lot more about the people around me from the actions that are taken during this period of our lives. The words given are comforting and uplifting. They are heartfelt, sincere and full of love. The words mean something and show me how much we are on people's minds.

However, the actions of the people in our lives touch my heart and soul. The hugs shared, the time spent praying and thinking of us, the gifts of love... these actions are often what gets me through day to day. It isn't what I'm given or what my daughters might receive that matter, it is the love behind the actions. It is the idea that a room full of co-workers would stop and take the time to send us love and prayers. It is the thought and concern that took place for the people at Lena's elementary school to welcome her on Meet the Teacher Night that eased her worries about starting first grade next week. It is the tear falling down someone's cheek when they tell me they've been worried about us, it is the action of my sister taking my other daughters that allowed me to focus on Lena, it is the person who offered to bring us food for our family at the hospital whom we had never met, it is the basket of loving gifts that people joined together to create for Lena, it is my mom's office that put together a bag of all things "piggy" for Lena to make her smile. Oh, the list goes on.

Never, never have I had so many people come into my life and offer what has been offered to us recently. The actions of our family and friends make me feel like the richest person in the world. We are okay. We are moving forward and staying on track with what we have to get done in the next few months. We're not anywhere near the point where we aren't scared to death, worried about Lena's future or forgetting that the tumor is most likely going to grow back. We're in the midst of frantically trying to find a way to get her eyelid opened so she doesn't lose her vision. She will have surgery again soon on her left eye. We're not nearly close to being done. But we are okay. We are loved and cared for. Every hug, every email, every card means something to us. Every action taken with us in mind is a part of this adventure and a part that matters. Although I'm not sure how well I've expressed my gratitude to each one of you that has taken the time to send me a note letting me know we are in your thoughts, please know that I do appreciate it. I feel it all and share it with the girls. They are learning that people are good and loving and that those who care about you, will step up, will take the time, will offer what you need, when you need it most. That's a life lesson that they won't soon forget.


To my friend... I hope that every day I show you how much you mean to me. I know some days I just tell you but I hope that mostly, my actions speak louder than my words.


Next Tuesday, we will have three different appointments in the Med Center relating to Lena's eye, upcoming surgery and begin some of the testing to find out if she might have a genetic syndrome related to tumors. When I have the chance, I'll update the blog letting everyone know how the appointments went and where we go from here.

Love you much. xoxoxoxo Holland