Better Day Today... & Nick :)

Good evening friends and family. This post should be short.... well, I think it will be but sometimes I get going and can't seem to stop. :)

Lena had a much better day today. Finally! She actually requested bacon to eat this morning, drank some orange juice and told me she wanted to see her sisters. As the day went on, she stayed awake for a longer period of time, was weaned off the more serious pain meds, walked the halls, toured the hospital and attended movie night tonight to watch Horton Hears a Who. Yeah, "wow" right? What a difference 24 hours and a lot less medication makes. I actually saw a few glimpses of my daughter's personality come through today.

I almost couldn't help but laugh at one point when she flat out yelled at the occupational therapist that she WOULD NOT bend down to pick up a toy and that the lady COULDN'T MAKE HER. Whew. Lena was mad, mad, mad and it showed. She was overly tired and tempermental but I just wanted to shout with joy. Finally she was showing some personality and communicating. I felt bad for the lady who got the raw end of the stick but it was well worth it. Lena told her when she started that she was very tired and I told her Lena hadn't slept in a while. I figure she was forewarned. :) (((Isn't that horrible to enjoy something that came at the expense of another?)))... but it was funny!

Okay, now for the tough part of the day. Lena asked to be taken to the mirror on the back of our room's door. Although I knew it would have to happen, I wasn't ready. I hadn't quite figured out what to say or how to say it. So, I just did what felt right. We talked about the staples in her head- there are about 40. We talked about her shaved head and how the hair would grow back. We talked about why her eye is red and swollen and why we needed to keep putting ice on it.

We did not talk about why her eye was closed and how it would stay that way. I just couldn't do it. I didn't lie but I didn't tell her. I think she has been traumatized enough and it broke every piece of my heart to watch her facial expressions and slow realization as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. She sat stunned for a moment like she was waiting for me to introduce her to the girl in the mirror. I don't know that she even realized that it was herself. As the tears began to fall down her cheeks, she reached up to brush them away. Her hand went to her left eye where the eyelid is closed and just touched the eye, her lashes and then ran her hand over her shaved head and the numerous staples that hold her scalp together like a headband, from one ear to the other. I know I'll have to tell her and we will need to talk about the reality of the situation but it isn't happening today... or tomorrow... or this weekend... I have no idea when but neither of us is ready for it yet.

One of the doctors thought we should be released today. I told them no. I asked them how they could possibly release her when all she's eaten for almost 4 days has been 5 bites of peaches, 4 bites of jello and two strips of bacon. How could they release her when she hasn't walked more than two baby steps? Really, how could they release her to us to take care of her when nobody has explained how we should do that? So, I told them no. I'm open to being discharged tomorrow but they had better get on the ball and start working with us to figure out what she needs and how we can provide it.

Okay, so not so short of a post. :)

Good news... hope... we're going home soon. Lena's eating a little bit, talking a little bit and playing a little bit. She talked to her sisters on the phone tonight and gave the first spontaneous smile since we arrived Monday morning. Man, I thought I was going to cry as she told her "Goo Goos" that she loved and missed them. They'll be coming up tomorrow to visit. That will be a challenge in itself. I figure however they react to Lena's appearance will set the stage for how Lena takes on the rest of the world. Let's hope that Kira and Naia bring lots of love and understanding. Pray for that tonight please. I think it is hugely important to her confidence and recovery.

I'll post soon about our journey home.

I want to share one more thing...

Lena has the best cousin ever. Nicolas Charles Turnbough, "Nick", has been a consistent visitor and motivator for Lena. He has made her smile and engaged her in an art activity today. He has visited Lena every single day and sat with me on the day of her surgery. He has shown more strength and maturity at 13 than many adults I know. As we sat devastated about Lena's eye, Nick put it into perspective and basically stated that it was just an eye. Lena will still have a full life and have all the opportunities as other children. There may be some things she will not be able to do but there are a million things she can choose to do.
Nick... Lena and I love you! You are awesome and we are lucky to have you as a part of our family! Hugs & Kisses- Aunt Holi & Lena (Yes, I know that's just the way you roll. :) )

Thanks again everyone. Talk to you soon. Love Holland